STRIKE BACK AT PORN - PART 2

This is Part 2 of the article. Keep on reading it will help you to understand the effects of porn! {This article is titled "Strike Back At Porn" by Lisa Hall-Wilson and Emily Taylor. (taken from Seven magazine May-June edition)}

I've decided that I need to confess my involvement. What's the best way to break it to her? What should I expect when I do?

Admitting your involvement with porn to the most important woman in your life without knowing how she'll react is tough. Reconciliation is never easy, but this is a positive first step.

First, you need to be focused on God. If your sole intention in confessing is to minimize the damage so she won't leave or to get clean because she's threatening to leave, you may be setting yourself up for failure. Becoming the man God wants you to be must be your priority-whether she stays or leaves.

When you decide to confess, don't hold anything back. She won't want an itemized list of web sites, but be specific and forthright. Women are like bullet-proof glass: They can stand major blows and keep on hugging,  multiple successive blows will shatter them. You need to create a foundation of truth on which to rebuild.

Be honest. Be sincere. Be sensitive to the fact that she's hurting. We can't predict exactly how she'll react, but do more than listen-actually hear her. Be prepared for her to tell you that porn is cheating. We hear your protests: It's not like you slept with another woman or even formed an emotional attachment. You're missing the point! Choosing to focus your time, energy and desires on another woman, real or otherwise, equals adultery. Take the hit on this one.

Consider her reasons for feeling like you've cheated on her. You're spending time with porn that otherwise would have been hers. You're pouring out desire on porn that otherwise would have been spent on her. You're indulging in mental fantasies-imagining yourself in intimate situations and acting on those fantasies privately. Jesus said: "Anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matt. 5:28).

When you come clean be sure to have a plan. Your credibility is already dirt, but if you continually relapse because you haven't got a plan to end this behaviour, she might leave. If you relapse once and don't share that you've fallen, the cycle of guilt and shame will begin again and you'll be right back where you started. And let us give you a heads up on this one: Part of the plan had better be quitting cold turkey and getting rid of any stashes you have hidden. Immediately.